Rep. Louis Gohmert [R-TX] introduced a bill into the House called the GITMO Act of 2008. It is a response to the Supreme Court’s ruling in Boumediene v. Bush and provides for all Guantanamo Bay detainees to be released into the custody of the Supreme Court.

To provide for the transport of the enemy combatants detained in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to Washington, DC, where the United States Supreme Court will be able to more effectively micromanage the detainees by holding them on the Supreme Court grounds, and for other purposes.

Congress finds the following:

1. The United States Supreme Court issued an opinion styled Boumediene v. Bush on June 12, 2008.
2. Justice Anthony Kennedy, in the court’s majority opinion, held that foreign terrorism suspects held at the Guantanamo Bay naval base in Cuba have constitutional rights to challenge their detention in United States courts.
3. This is an obvious effort on the part of the Supreme Court to micromanage the detainment and disposition of detainees in the War on Terror who are dedicated to destroying innocent people and the American way of life.
4. The United States Supreme Court clearly needs increased opportunity to oversee the handling of the enemy combatants, as it has seen fit to take a greater role in managing the Global War on Terror, which is a duty previously exercised by the Executive Branch.
5. There can be no better way for the United States Supreme Court to exercise its new self-appointed war powers than to house the prisoners whom it has taken a greater role in overseeing.

Here is my favorite part of the bill:

Shelter on Supreme Court Building Grounds- The Secretary of Defense, in conjunction with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the author of the majority opinion in Boumediene v. Bush, is directed to provide shelter for the detainees outside the United States Supreme Court building, but on the building grounds. The Secretary of Defense shall provide guards to watch over the prisoners and shall implement a system to ensure that the prisoners receive the appropriate amount of food and water. Should the detainees need the use of restroom facilities, they shall use the facilities inside the United States Supreme Court building. The Chief Justice, if the Chief Justice so chooses, may perform the duties of Justice Anthony Kennedy under this subsection.

Of course the bill would also grant authority for any of the Supreme Court Justices to stand guard over the detainees if they deemed it necessary (possibly during the aforementioned bathroom break?). This bill will never make it out of committee and even if it did Nancy Pelosi would never allow it to come up for a floor vote, so do not be concerned about its absurdity. The point of the bill is to poke fun at the Supreme Court for overstepping their bounds in Boumediene, basically telling them that if you don’t like how we are dealing with these prisoners, then you can deal with them yourself.

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Congress, Features, Supreme Court, Terrorism