For the majority of you reading this, a feeling of contempt will wash over you towards the writer for exemplifying the worst in Americans. Others will read these words and show some form of remorse for the author, and his ill-conceived notions as to what he is ‘entitled’. In either respect I am sure that everyone who is not a Marxist can agree, Franklin Schneider is the type of person this country can do without.

When reports surfaced that a three- or six-month (!!) unemployment extension was going to be part of the package, it seemed like government was finally doing something for the little guy, instead of just the fat cats and whiny Christians. I spent the next two weeks Google News-ing “unemployment extension economic stimulus” every 10 minutes.

When the package including the extension failed by one vote, I was so f*cking pissed at the United States government that if an al-Qaeda recruiter had pitched me at that moment, I’d be in the Afghanistan desert as we speak, screaming Arabic at the top of my lungs while bayoneting an Uncle Sam mannequin.

As a side note, if Mr. Schneider promises to leave the United States and goto Afghanistan to join al-Qaeda, I pledge to raise the funds necessary to purchase him a first class ticket out of here. I am sure al-Qaeda would be willing to offer him wonderful benefits, such as those 72 virgins we keep hearing about.

I’ve been on unemployment three times in the past six years. Each time was better than the last, and each time I stayed on until the last cent was exhausted. I didn’t even try to get a job; it was a paid vacation. This is somewhat unusual from what I can tell. There’s a deep vein of antipathy in this country toward collecting checks from the government, especially in precincts that tend to skew rightward.

This is an exemplification of the entitlement society we are currently living in. While I understand Mr. Schneider is the exception to the rule, he is certainly not alone in feeling no shame for being a leech on society.

Given a choice between getting a check every week for doing nothing and getting a check every week for flushing 40 hours of the prime of their lives down the toilet, they chose the latter. I mean, what kind of self-hating, masochistic Protestant bullsh*t is that?

Not only do I feel no guilt whatsoever about sucking from the state’s teat, I feel that I’m absolutely entitled to it. First of all, the employer that fired me pays for half of my unemployment, and f*ck them…

I believe the euphemism he was actually looking for was suckling from the State’s teat, however the underlying point is apparent. Our entitlement society has stretched to the point where some people believe it is the job of the government to take care of them from the cradle to the grave. With no sense of pride, or any form of self reliance, Mr. Schneider admits to the world he offers no practical use to society.

And it’s not my fault, it’s because of people like you! High-earning workaholic assholes like you who feel entitled to buy big houses with gimmick mortgages and drive huge cars that force our government to subsidize gas prices, who run up credit card debt buying products you saw on your Chinese-made big-screen television and then vote Republican so you can pay less than your fair share of taxes! It’s your fault our country is now a second-rate power! Now who’s un-American?! You are! And I’m the real patriot! Ironic, isn’t it? I’m basically a bald eagle flying over Mount Rushmore while Hank Williams Jr. sings the Monday Night Football theme song in the background, and you’re basically John Walker Lindh, American Taliban!

Fell free to contact Mr. Erik Wemple (ewemple-at-washingtoncitypaper.com) if you would like to voice your opinion on this editorial. I have already written him to inquire if Mr. Schneider has been compensated for this writing, or any of the others submitted previously, as my next e-mail will be to the Virginia Employment Commission to investigate if Mr. Schneider has received unemployment compensation which was not owed to him.

Hat Tip: Michelle Malkin

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